One Year Passing Court Anniversary

It was one year ago today that we found out that we had passed court in Ethiopia and Faven and Diborah were officially our daughters!!! If any of you reading this has been through adoption and court dates, you know just how exciting the call that you've passed can be!!!! It was an amazing day! We had our family picture taken that day for our church directory and we were ALL SMILES!! Today is definitely a day worth celebrating!!!


If you've read my blog, you know that this has been a year of ups and downs. But, we've persevered and continue to see the fruits of our labor more and more each day.
I had the most amazing experience this past weekend with our 8 year old, Faven. We have had quite the power struggle for the past 11 months. I could almost see the wall that she had put up to protect herself from bonding with me. Not sure what happened on Friday night, but that wall came tumbling down. Not sure what I said that I hadn't said before. Maybe it was just something she needed to hear again, or maybe she was just ready to accept it. I don't know. But, what I do know is that I have spent the past 3 days with one of the most amazing young girls. She is so peaceful and sweet! It's as if a huge weight has finally been lifted from her shoulders and she is ready to allow herself to be happy. What a wonderful Thanksgiving gift!

First Halloween!

GOOFY!!! That's how I would describe these 3 princesses!!!! I was SO afraid that Halloween would spook them so badly that they would not be able to sleep at night. I was wrong!! They thoroughly enjoyed their first Halloween together!! Who cares about the scary monsters and chainsaw murderers and grim reapers when you can get loads and loads of CANDY?!!! This American tradition rocks!! (o:

MoViNG!!

AAAAA!!! I can't believe we're moving!! In our almost 21 years of marriage, my husband and I have lived in the house we live in now the longest.....6 years! So, I am not a stranger to looking at houses, showing houses, packing, pitching, sorting, cleaning, closing, unpacking, remodeling, settling in....and the many more wonderful things that go along with moving. Many moves have been hard moves, sad moves. This move is super exciting for me. We are not leaving our town, our church, or the friends we cherish. We are just leaving a home that has been a good home for us but has somehow shrunk over the years. It's been, um, fun(?) going through closets and boxes that haven't been opened in 6 years. We've taken bags and bags and boxes and boxes of miscellaneous items to our church to donate for their annual youth garage sale. HOW did we collect SO MUCH STUFF?!

We close on our new house on November 2nd (in only 3 days!!!!!) and will be moved in by the 6th. What does one do while one is waiting after one has already packed? Take advantage of the empty kitchen cabinets, of course!!

Commitment

This cool bear came to visit at our house. The coolest sister ever is under all of that fur, but, shhh, don't tell anyone! The littles still don't know it was Kayla!! Faven did say that she knew it was a 'she' because she could tell it had boobies!!! Hahaha! She's so observant!

I wanted to do a follow-up on my last post. I talked about the many trials in the early months of our adoption. I'm told that adopting an older child is much different than adopting an infant. The transition for an adopted child into the family is much more complicated if they're older (don't quote me on this...it's just what I've heard). However, this does not mean that everyone will experience the hardships that we experienced with our adoption. Each family is different. Each child or children being adopted is different. They will respond to change, their family, their new home, their new pets, their new school, the new food, and their past experiences in different ways. Some families may experience a transition much easier than ours, some may be harder. I believe that the key to success in raising children, whether biological, adopted as infants, toddlers, pre-teen, or as a teenager, with or without disabilities, is commitment. As I said before, I wondered whether or not we had made the right decision, but, from the moment we became their parents, I was committed. Through the good, bad, and the ugly, Faven and Diborah were stuck with us! (o:

I would not change our decision. Do I still advocate for older child adoption? Yes! I believe that the older children need homes, they need families, committed families. If you are considering or in the process of adopting an older child, do your research, talk to other families who have gone through it, and strap on your seatbelts and get ready for an exciting ride!! And know that through perseverance, you will receive an awesome reward in the end! To love and be loved by a child who will have a brighter future because you stepped out in faith.

Are these sisters not just the cutest thing(s) ever?! These are my daughters....on good days and bad! Did I say bad? Is it politically correct to admit that somedays they drive me insane? Ok, then, I won't say that....

But, I will say that we have all come a long way in 9 1/2 months!

It's been a while since I've blogged, mostly because I haven't been inspired to share anything. I'm not a writer and just won't do it unless I really feel led.

So, here I am! As I said, Faven and Diborah have been home for 9 1/2 months. I would like to share with you some things that deserve some applause.....

**Language! We survived for a while on limited Amharic on our part and no english on theirs. But, it has been amazing to watch them grow and learn and now know how to communicate fully in English with anyone they meet. I always say that it's because they get sooooo much practice!! (o:

**When the girls first came to our home, they were terribly unruly for many reasons I won't go into. Now, they are well-behaved (ok, as well-behaved as my other children!) and respond to discipline....100's of gray hairs later! Faven's reading tutor at school was listening to her read from her book. She shared with me this story about Faven...

"...on one of the pages the little boy says, "Stop, Mom." Faven read that, shook her head and said, 'Oh, we don't say that to Mom at our house. That would be not respect. My dad would not be happy.'" A-ha!! She gets it!!

**Bonding did not happen as quickly as I would have liked, but I am finally starting to feel a bond with Faven and Diborah and I can sense that they are also bonding with me. Yesterday, when Faven was playing house with Emma, she said, "I am going to go over here and sit by my real mom." She was talking about me, by the way. Wow, that sounded good!!!

**Both of the girls love school.

**Not as much fear. Faven can walk to and from school by herself. Diborah can climb on the playground equipment without fear of falling. They both sleep in their own beds! Hooray!

The work of the enemy is very powerful. He does not want to see good being done. After bringing my daughters home, I questioned whether or not I had done the right thing...for myself, the girls, and my family. I felt like my family was the poster child for why NOT to adopt because we were so stressed and struggled with behavior problems. My husband and I had worked very hard in our community to raise money for the orphanages in Ethiopia and had been very vocal in advocating for older child adoption. Then, just 4 months after bringing our daughters home, we separated. I had so many doubts and fears and struggled with my faith.

But, God is good, and He prevailed!! My marriage has been restored, my faith has been restored and we are all feeling like a family again!!

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who did not give up on me and my family when I felt like giving up! I am also SO thankful for friends (some who I only know through blogging) who cared for me enough to keep in touch and check in on me occasionally! A friend who will listen, support and not judge is priceless!!!!

THE GIRLS

Continuation....

More to come......

the end

Due to family situations, I have decided that it is time that this blogging chapter of my life come to an end. I have thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated the encouragement and support that I have received from the many people I have 'met' and the friends I have made in the blogging community. If any one of you would like to stay in touch, my email address is ldsimmons69@yahoo.com. I will miss you all! May God bless you on your life's journey! Please pray for me!

As Diborah has been known to say when she is finished with something...The End.

Just a fun kid story

A friend of mine gave me a Bible written in Amharic, Faven and Diborah's native language, before we travelled to Ethiopia to bring home our daughters. This morning Emma and Diborah got it down from a shelf, which by the way is WAY too high for any 4 year old to reach, so I don't even want to know how they got to it!!! Their dresser is below the shelf....need I say more?
Anyway, they sat down to read this book to their baby dolls.
I said, "Do you know what book that is?"
They both said, "Yes, it is a Jesus book."
Emma opened it and said, "What does this page say mommy?" I explained to her that it is written in Amharic, so I couldn't exactly tell her.
So, she turned to Diborah and asked her what it said. Now, remember that Diborah is 4, can't read Amharic, and I'm almost positive that she can't speak it or understand it anymore.
Diborah said, "It says God will bring the rain." Wow, that was good!
Emma turned the page and Diborah continued to 'read' the Bible to her....
"It says, listen to Mommy and Daddy." Bravo!! I think she gets it! (o:

Balancing Act...

I'm such a slacker! I spend each day cleaning my house...wow! 6 kids can a messy house make!!!! I take the new 4 year olds to Kindermusik...fun...and to preschool! During this time, I try to work out...and do some more cleaning, oh, and grocery shopping! I do not particularly enjoy this part of my roll as mom and am ready to hire a housekeeper!!!! What do you think? Toys, laundry, floors, toys, beds, bathrooms, groceries, toys...Am I a wimp? I think I need to fit in some time for ME?! Breakfast, lunch, supper....ahhhhh! OK, coffeemom...I need your help!!!
I drink coffee! I love coffee! Why can't I keep up? I even send my 4 oldest kiddos off to school! I should have plenty of time, right?!
I need to take some pics of my house! Then you would all say...WRONG!! It's a mess! Maybe less blogging or facebooking?! That's it...no extras....no socializing...just family and homemaking! I can do it...but I don't WANT to! HELP!!!!
I love my kids...ALL of my kids, but I need a balance!!!

I feel so out of the loop since I haven't been able to blog for a long time! The Simmons family has been very busy! We celebrated Emma and Diborah's 4th birthday! It's hard to believe they are FOUR!! Look at these beauties with their cakes. They were a little sick during their party, but nothing a little tylenol couldn't help!

We celebrated Easter--it was so fun to watch the girls color their first easter eggs, have their first easter egg hunt and ....the highlight....wear their beautiful new dresses!!

They also had their first dance recital!!! They were absolutely gorgeous! Of course their dance routines were so cute.

How exciting it is to watch these three experience all of this together! This would not be possible if at some point in our lives, the seed had not been planted to consider adoption. For that not to happen would've been a shame!!

4 Years Old!

The ball is tomorrow! We will be celebrating my two little princesses 4th birthdays together--their birthdays are just 9 days apart! This will be Diborah's first birthday in America and Emma's first birthday sharing it with a sister! Hopefully everyone will be well for the occasion! Diborah's temp reached 103 last night and Emma's has hovered around 100. But, schedules are tight, the cakes are made, the ball must go on!

In Sunday School on Sunday, my 3 year old daughters learned that they can take care of God's creation. They brought home a baggie which had a wet paper towel and seeds inside. Emma and Diborah informed me that they were going to grow into flowers!
Today, Emma looked at the seeds and said with dismay, "They will NEVER be flowers!" I said, "Sure they will...you just have to be patient! It won't happen overnight!"
Um.....maybe I should listen to my own advice! I have been expecting the bonding and attachment and love and feelings and obedience and learning to happen 'overnight'! I just need to sit back, provide for them, and let them grow!
Then, Emma said, as she was running for the door, "I need to put them outside, they need the sun!"
I heard, "....they need the Son!!" I need to place my daughters and our relationship in God's hands and quit doing it on my own! We ALL need the Son!

The Sunday School verse was 1 John 4:19 'We love because God loved us first'. Amen!

Spring Break!

We SURVIVED our first long trip as a family of 8!!

Last week was spring break for my professor husband and our children. We were very excited that all of their spring breaks coincided with the date of the Gladney Ethiopian dinner in Fort Worth, TX! We loaded up our six children and took off! Well, actually, we loaded up 4 of our children in our 7 passenger mini van while 2 of our children drove behind. We decided that this was a RIDICULOUS way to travel and decided to break down and do the inevitable--buy an 8 passenger vehicle! We are usually very thrifty people, we don't buy 'toys', so to spend money on a new/used car with the economy the way it is, was just way out of character for us. But, we decided that we needed to accomodate our large family, and possibly a friend or two at times, and just do it! Our car of choice was a Chevy Suburban. We not only got all of the seats that we needed, but also room to pack our stuff. I have to admit, I am really enjoying it!!!

Anyway, we made this purchase in Oklahoma City. My husband's grandma and aunt and cousins live there, so it was the perfect place to stop. This was the first time that Faven and Diborah got to meet their Great grandma and great aunt! They were met with a special welcome cake, a wonderful meal, and a fun walk to Lake Hefner to feed the ducks and geese.

We spent a few nights in OK City, then loaded up our family for our first ride in the same car! During our stay in Fort Worth, the girls discovered that they LOVE to swim! I was afraid of that!! I am worried about what the pool water will do to their hair!! They also spent a lot of time at the McDonalds play place next to our hotel.

The highlight, of course, was going to the Gladney dinner, meeting blogger friends, seeing our caseworker, Mary, again, and seeing our in-country reps, Belay with his family, and Travis and Joanna. These are all amazing people who have had such a huge impact on our lives. It was also exciting to see the families created (and in the process of being created) through adoption from Ethiopia. It was neat to watch Faven warm up to friends she had while living in the Gladney Foster Home in Ethiopia. I think it was so good for her to see Belay (whom she loves) and Ethiopian friends and then leave and go home with her family!

Vacation? Not for me...

We had fun times, we had whiny times, we had laughing times, we had screaming times, we had relaxing times, we had frustrating times. We sang, we danced, we visited, we ate, we slept...but, most importantly, we bonded!!! Our older children bonded together in frustration (:, our younger children bonded, our older children bonded with the younger children. But, the most amazing part for me was the bonding that took place between John and I and Faven and Diborah. I can see the difference now that we are back to our daily routines. They are happier, calmer, and more compliant. I'm not sure what we expected when we adopted, but bonding did not take place immediately. It has taken time, patience, commitment, and, yes, work. Are we there yet? Probably not, but we are closer!!!

Better Days...

The girls had a GREAT day today. Faven got out of school early since our High School girls basketball team made it to State Semi-finals! I took the entire crew to the college that my husband teaches at for LUNCH!! This was crazy, but fun! Of course, I gave them 'the talk' before we went in. It went something like.."This is not a playground, so there will be no running. There will be many of Daddy's students in here, so show them what big girls you are..." Nathan and Derek were adamantly shaking their heads in agreement! They REALLY wanted their sisters to be good!! They were!
Afterwards, we came home and hung a collage of pictures in the girls room. This collage contained pictures of our trip to Ethiopia. Specifically, it had pictures of John, Kayla and I with Faven and Diborah meeting with their birthmom.
You see, I have been reading a book called "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child". I think that many of the points in the book could be controversial, but one thing that I agree with is that we, as adoptive parents need to talk openly about our adopted child/ren's past. This is an extremely important part of their lives!! We cannot forget, erase, or dismiss this!
So, last weekend, when Faven was having a particularly difficult day, I decided to use what I've learned. I asked her, "Do you miss your Ethiopian mommy?" She said, "Yes, why doesn't she come here to see me? I want her to come here!" I know that it is so hard for her, because she loves her new family, but misses her Ethiopian mommy! She wants her to come HERE.
I explained to her that her Ethiopian mommy loves her VERY much and would come if she could, but 'remember that loooooong plane ride?' We are very far away.
Then, we decided to look at pictures. The first pictures that we took of our meeting with their birthmom was of her crying. I explained that she was very sad because she would miss her daughters very much because she loved them. By the end of the meeting, their birthmom was hugging me (Faven's favorite picture) and smiling and laughing. I explained to Faven that her Ethiopian mommy was happy because she liked us and she knew we would love Faven and Diborah and give them a good home. Faven smiled and hugged me! This melted my heart!!!
We made a collage of those pictures and hung them in her room....above her bed. She has never gone to bed so willingly and quietly!!!
So...adoption is not without loss...it is not without pain! But, there can still be happiness!!!
I love my girls!!

Making a Difference in this life...charity:water

We were so touched by the needs in our daughters, Faven and Diborah's, birth country. We have discovered that one way to help the people in this country is to give financially to fund drilling wells that will provide clean drinking water to many, many people. Here is a video of a father and daughter visiting a well that they helped fund.

The Budde Family Well / charity: water / Ethiopia from charity: water on Vimeo.

We, the Simmons family, are pitching in with many other Ethiopian adoptive families who have experienced the same desire to fund one or more wells. But, you do not have to be an adoptive parent or be a member of the blog community--you only have to have a heart for helping people and a desire to give to this cause. In order to join me in this effort, please visit Lori's blog. She is leading us in this effort to make a difference!!!

Dance, braids and dolch words

My last post was a bit of a reality check and maybe not quite so happy. So, I wanted to post some pictures to show that we do have our struggles, but also have many, many happy times.

This is a picture of Diborah, Faven and Emma ready to go to dance class. I'm not sure how much to get the girls involved in right now, because I don't want to overwhelm them or overstimulate them. However, Emma was already enrolled in dance and so Faven and Diborah really wanted to do it too. The dance instructors were very kind to allow the girls to jump in in the middle. They are doing great and are excited about their recital in April. They are especially excited about the beautiful dance dresses that they get to wear!



Since the day we received the girls referral, I have to admit, I was very nervous about how I was going to take care of their hair. I did alot of research on products and hair styles and how to braid with cornrows. I learned all that I could off of the many sites available on the internet. I am excited to say that I have gotten much better at cornrows. This is my favorite style on Faven. She loves the beads and loves to hear them click together when she moves her head. I have to say, she is a very good client, too. I just pop in a movie and go to work!

This next picture is a picture of Faven reading the Dolch words that her teacher gave me. These are words that are often used and easier to read by just memorizing them. There are a lot of these and beginning to teach these to her was a bit overwhelming. Her teacher suggested that I post them in different areas of the house and have her read different lists at various times throughout the way. Faven loves this and doesn't complain when I ask her to read one of the lists.

So, we face the issues as they come. There are so many decisions to be made. How to care for hair, what to involve them in, how to teach them english, how to teach them to read, whether or not to send them to school. I don't believe there is one right answer. We face each situation as it arises and pray for God's blessing on our family.

Older child/sibling adoption

Adopting has definitely been a new adventure for me. A challenging adventure. It's like climbing a mountain. It's hard, it's exhilarating, it's rewarding. Until now, I've felt a bit like a babysitter, a teacher, a drill sargeant. How do I become mom?



My daughters are 7 and 3 years old. They are typical 7 and 3 year olds. They do not wake up daily and thank me for the new life I've given them in America. They do not shower me with hugs and kisses in gratitude for 'saving' them. They are children. They hurt because they've been abandoned and experienced loss. They wonder if I will leave them, too.



They are children. They test their boundaries, constantly. They have alot of testing to make up for--after all they are 7 and 3 and don't know the rules of this new family. They fight, they scream, they say 'no', they run, they complain, they whine, they pout, they glare.


But, they love and love to be loved! They love hugs. They love kisses. They love to have fun. They love to laugh. They love to play.
In other words, they are children!

It is so rewarding to see the light come on--they understand! It is rewarding when you know that they want to say "no", but instead say, "ok mommy"! It is rewarding to walk in the door and hear "mommy, you home!" It is rewarding to hear them pray at night and thank God for their home and their family.

Would I recommend older children adoption? Would I recommend adopting siblings? YES!!!

A perfect family is not required, believe me, I know. We are not a special, extraordinary family. We are not flawless. We make mistakes. We occasionally lose our tempers. We have been seen carrying a screaming child out of a restaurant or store. Sometimes we're too soft when we need to be firm. We get tired.

We did not adopt because we had lots of extra money or time on our hands. We adopted because we had a family, and they needed one.

Raising these children does not require perfection. It requires commitment, patience, and love. God has given us a responsibility, a gift. We feel very blessed.

These children are a blessing.

Pictures

Thought I'd share a few pictures to show what we've been doing....

Here are the 3 amigos/3 musketeers/3 stooges? I can't decide... It's Emma, Katy (my niece), and Diborah. They are 'cheering' at Derek's basketball game!

Emma and Diborah are always ready for a photo op!

Faven, Emma and Diborah wearing their Ethiopian dresses to church for the first time!

I finally got Derek to pose with his sisters for a picture. As you can tell, he is a very serious guy!

One of very few pictures of me with Faven and Diborah. We are in the 'fish house' at the zoo.

Settling In

We've been home as one big happy (most of the time) family for almost 6 weeks. I think we've settled into a routine and found that 'new normal' that I've heard about from other adoptive parents.
Kayla has gone back to living the life of a college student and working alot. Occasionally she'll take time out of her busy schedule to hang out with her little sisters and do girlie things. They love that!
Nathan is a great big brother. He is so good about playing with Faven, Diborah and Emma but gets frustrated at his lack of control when they misbehave. He has really stepped up to the plate and taken on more responsibility since mom and dad are a bit busier. He takes Derek to school, picks him up and drives him to his various activities. That is a huge help!
Derek is 13 and thinks all little girls are a nuisance, especially his 3 sisters! They must stay out of his room and keep the noise down--I say, "Good luck with that!" (o:
Emma loves having playmates! She loves being a mommy to Diborah. She loves Diborah going to preschool with her (Emma was the only girl in her class until Diborah came)! She loves learning new words in Amharic and sometimes uses those in place of the English word. But, there are times when Emma would like to have me, her daddy, her toys, her room all to herself. Sounds normal to me!
Faven is still enjoying school. She says, "Me..teacher..love." I don't blame her! She has the best teacher! She continues to learn more and more English--it is an amazing transformation. She still struggles occasionally with mommy and daddy's authority, but is getting better. She tries to convince us that she is 'the boss', but is slowly learning that she is not. We enrolled her in a dance class which she loves. Tonight we will go watch her perform a dance at our high school's homecoming basketball game with other K-6th graders. She seems to have embraced her new life. She gets excited about looking at pictures from Ethiopia (friends, her birthmom, her caretakers), but doesn't talk much about it on a daily basis. She is a funny girl with a big personality. She brings lots of sunshine and love into our family!
Diborah is doing so much better. She enjoys playing with Emma and going to school and dance class and church. Just in the past couple of days, she has begun to use English words to communicate. I'm still surprised when she says something in English! She is very loving and cuddley. She gives me lots of smiles, hugs and kisses, and I love you's...music to my ears! She likes to have fun and is our happy girl!

It's been fun being a big, crazy family of 8. We feel as though God has truly blessed us.
Last week, John and I left all of our children at home with Kayla to go shopping at our favorite store (haha!), Walmart. Everyone that we saw who knows us said something like....you're alone?...no kids today?...where's everyone else?...aren't you missing a few?
We just smile!

Speaking English

When Faven and Diborah first came home, they didn't speak or understand English very well at all. We were able to communicate by showing and demonstrating. I thought they would be delayed in speaking English because they were able to communicate with each other in Amharic. This wasn't always good. Faven would be chattering away in Amharic and Diborah would begin to cry. I have no idea what Faven was saying but I know it wasn't good. I was ready for them to begin speaking our language!
Although Diborah still struggles alot (she repeats words and phrases that we say, but doesn't really understand), Faven is learning English rather quickly and is getting good at communicating with us.
During the superbowl, we let the 3 little girls watch a movie in another room. It wasn't long before they started having problems.
Faven marched out and said in her broken English and oh-so-cute accent, "Dee-BOR-ah...moo-vee...off!!"
John said, "Diborah turned the movie off? Why?"
Faven replied, flailing her arms, " I don't a know! She's crazeee!!!"

Oh, I love my girls! They make me smile!

Middle names, revisited

We did it! We finally agreed on a middle name for each of our daughters! This is not an easy task with 2 adults and 3 teenagers tossing ideas around!

John and I agreed on names and made it official....then we told Faven and Diborah. We were a bit nervous about this because, if you recall from a previous post, Faven was set on Beyonce for her and Rihanna for Diborah. We did not choose these names. However, when we told Faven and Diborah their new names, they both smiled and LOVED them!

So, now, I introduce to you....

Faven Faith and Diborah Noelle Simmons!!!

After we told Faven her name, she repeated it several times. Then, Nathan started teasing her and calling her Fay Fay. Now Faven will say..."Faven Faith....Fay Fay". She is so proud of her new name!

We gave Diborah the middle name Noelle because her 'gotcha day' was just 4 days before our Christmas day. She also loves her new name, but has a hard time pronouncing it!

There is only one problem...now Emma wants to change her name! We told her that her middle name is her grandma's middle name. Her solution: change grandma's middle name too!

Pictures of 'The Fam'!

Here are some random pictures of my awesome family! (o:

















In this picture, Faven is giving Emma a kiss. We arrived home late at night after Emma had already gone to bed, but Faven couldn't wait until morning to meet her!

















"The girls" snuggling with their daddy (or should I say...bobby!)
















Emma, Diborah and mommy. Yes, I have my hands full!!
















Don't you just love this group? Nathan, Faven, Kayla, Diborah and Emma. Not sure where Derek is....I think he's staying far away these days!

This is Faven, ready for her FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! You can't tell by the picture, but she was VERY excited about going to school. She still loves school! Her only complaint is that her face gets cold at recess. She wore a scarf today!

This is a picture of the 4 sisters with their handsome brother. Nathan was all dressed up to go to Hollyball--a formal dance where the girls invite the guys. Where is Derek?!!

My 4 gorgeous girls hanging out at Derek's basketball tournament. Emma and Diborah are striking a pose!

This is the first day I let Diborah wear her hair 'down'. I decided I love her hair this way. We haven't braided it since!

My 'twins' hanging out at home with mom while everyone else is at school. They have so much fun with each other during the day. They will be great friends!

Busy?!

I have enjoyed getting to know so many people through blogs who are also adopting (or have adopted) from Ethiopia. Since we've been home, I have felt a bit disconnected from this part of my life. We have been extremely busy! We have not only dealt with lice and ringworm (ewww!), but enrolling in 1st grade and preschool, doctor's appointments, lab appointments, and, not to mention basketball tournaments, 20th anniversary (what?...that came and went a bit unnoticed!!!). We have been BUSY!! But, I have to say, I miss blogging! I miss my blog friends!
I appreciate the encouraging words!! Keep them coming!
I will say this....I love my new family! I think of those still waiting and those who have recently traveled often. I wish you all the best!! God Bless!!

More pics from Ethiopia

I posted yesterday about meeting the girls. Since I was on my laptop, I was unable to post pictures, so I thought I'd add some today for you to enjoy. Maybe soon I'll be able to download some home pictures with the entire family!

Meeting the Girls

We arrived in Ethiopia at around 8:00am on Sunday, December 21st. I was nervous about the whole airport thing....getting our visas, going through customs, getting our luggage and exchanging american money for birr. It was really very easy for us--went smoothly.
We got a ride from Tafesse to our guest home. He told us that Ryan and Abby Brown would come to the guest house after church and lunch to take us to meet our daughters! Yippee!! I must have been extremely exhausted because then I laid down and FELL ASLEEP!! Crazy, huh?! Who could sleep, knowing that the meeting they had waited a year for was only hours away? Well, John, Kayla and me...

We woke up with a few moments to do some unpacking....then, it was time. Ryan and Abby walked us to the foster care home where we were to meet Faven and Diborah. Then, Ryan left to go and get the girls. It seemed like it took forever for him to walk through that door with them!

When they finally did arrive, John, Kayla and I went to hug them. They were very stiff and scared(that was to be expected!), but I think they recognized us from the photo albums we had sent. We were not prepared--we didn't have any toys or candy to bribe them, I mean, to win them over. Kayla came to the rescue. She took off her necklace and gave it to Faven--score! I took off my bracelet and put it on Diborah--oh yeah...another hit! Then, I brought out the camera! They could've been entertained with that all day! After about half an hour, Ryan said, "Well, we're going to go now. Stay as long as you want." What? They're ours? We can just take them back to the guest house with us? After all this time, it seemed too easy!

They attached to Kayla and I right away. John had to wait a while and work much harder for their affections. Kayla was Kayla, I was mommy (wow!), and John was...bobby!! (o: We thought that bobby must be a common term of endearment for daddy's in Ethiopia. We asked Ryan, Belay and others from Ethiopia and none of them had any idea why the girls called John bobby. How funny! They still call him bobby today!

We took the girls with us everywhere. They went to restaurants, the Hilton, the zoo, the market, the grocery store, the orphanages. They were a little intimidated at first. I'm sure they were experiencing so many new things even in their own country. They loosened up after a while and were not afraid to talk to other adults who talked to them. However, they made sure that we stayed close by at all times. We learned important Amharic words and phrases during these outings...words for come, do you like it?, water, potty, good job, more. It was great for bonding!

One of the hardest days for them was the day that we visited the foster care homes. I think it was confusing for them to go back. They were trying to make the transition to being a part of our family...maybe they thought we would leave them?

By far, THE most difficult day for them was the day we visited their birthmom. Another confusing event, I'm sure. After this meeting, they became very whiny and clingy. We were all supposed to go to Kolfe and Kechene orphanages that afternoon, but I stayed back at the guest house with Faven and Diborah while Kayla and John went to visit the orphanages. I tried to put them down for a nap, but they fought over who would get to lay next to me. Easy fix, right? I would just sleep in the middle! That didn't work, either. They just fought over which way my head should be turned! No nap that day!

We continued to love on them and reassure them that they could not/would not get rid of us! We grew to love them during the week we were in Ethiopia, but longed to take them home to join the rest of the family. We showed them pictures of all their family that they would see often in Great Bend. Before we left, they could name each one of them and were sooo excited about meeting them.

Meeting our girls and getting to know them--what a moment in time to remember forever!

After stalking blogs for the past eight months of our adoption process, I sort of knew what to expect to see in Ethiopia. In other words, there weren't too many surprises.
We saw the sadness and devastation of too many people, not enough jobs, and diseases without health care. We saw crazy construction, even crazier traffic (Belay said the traffic laws are merely suggestions!), horrible air pollution, goats along the highways, donkeys used for labor, mothers begging in the streets, children begging in the streets, homeless, lame, and crippled. We took our fruit snacks to distribute to those on the streets and sidewalks, but I almost felt guilty handing a mother with her hungry little baby one small package of fruit snacks. I knew what to expect, but it was still hard!

We had a wonderful driver--I think all of Gladney's drivers are wonderful! Eyasu(sp?) was ours. He wasn't a tour guide, but I knew he was watching out for us at all times. I could tell he enjoyed Faven and Diborah and was willing to help out with them when needed. He was even very patient and kind when Faven vomitted ALL OVER his back seat only minutes before we had to stop and change a flat tire. John, Kayla and I really liked Eyasu.

We stayed at a wonderful guest house as I have mentioned before. I read alot about Ayat House in other blogs and was thankful we were able to stay there. From Wagayu and Zimmet, I learned that I like having my bed made daily, coffee prepared for me each morning, my clothes washed, dried, AND ironed (yes, even our underwear and socks got ironed!), and a familiar face to go back to at the end of the day. Ayat House is within walking distance of the Gladney foster homes. We were also able to walk to a nearby restaurant which had delicious fruit smoothies for the girls and a playground.

In Ethiopia, we learned... how to bargain at the marketplace, not to count on internet service (we tried the Hilton daily but internet was down the entire time we were there), not to count on having electricity, not to let the guys/paparazzi at the zoo take your pictures unless you want to pay $2.00 per picture, Faven and Diborah are afraid of ALL animals (lions, cats, dogs, monkeys), spider monkeys that roam free at the zoo like Fanta soda (one tried to steal Kayla's!), we don't need more than 3 outfits, and we like eating with our hands.

However, our most valuable experiences in Ethiopia included meeting our daughters(obviously!), meeting our daughters' birthmom, and visiting the children at the orphanages, most of whom do not have forever families. We were able to visit Kolfe, Kechene and Kebebetsehay. These children are special. They are beautiful and funny and smart. They have had to deal with unspeakable experiences in their lives--experiences that we can't even imagine having to deal with. It is so overwhelming! Yet, they still have a smile for their visitors. They each deserve a family just like Faven and Diborah...just like Kayla, Nathan, Derek and Emma. They deserve parents who will love them and will give them food and clothes and hugs....
I would encourage anyone traveling to Ethiopia to visit these children. Spend some time talking to them and giving them hugs! They love visitors (and they love pictures!)!

I will forever cherish the time I got to spend with Faven and Diborah's birthmom. I will share more about that in another post.

A few pictures

The least important part of our trip was our stop in Rome, but, nonetheless, I had to post a picture.....
Can you guess where we are?! (o:

This picture was taken December 21st, the first day we met our two beautiful daughters! Aren't they precious?!

This was taken the day we had our embassy appointment...

We stayed at the Ayat Guest house (shown in the picture). I would highly recommend staying there to anybody traveling to Ethiopia!

Sisters.....Kayla was a huge help in Ethiopia! They sure love their big sis!


So many things to blog about, but so little time! Maybe someday I will be able to share more about our experience in Ethiopia!! Until then, enjoy the pics!

I promise to post pictures soon! We took a new camera to Ethiopia with us and we're trying to find time to figure out how to download them.
The girls are adjusting....We've had some very trying times, but that is to be expected. I have 3 little girls whose lives have been turned upside down, it may take a while for them to accept that. I have to daily (hourly) remind myself of this and pray for more patience!
Emma is showing signs of letting her new sisters into her heart. She speaks jibberish, which in her mind is amharic. I'm just happy that she translates what she says into English for us! (o: She actually has picked up a couple of words from Faven and Diborah.
We have a doctor's appointment for the girls today. Faven wants to begin school tomorrow. I think she's ready! Her teacher also taught 2 of my other children AND she attends our church. I know God worked this out for us!

Names...

When the Wolfe family came back from Ethiopia with their three teenage children, they let them choose the name they wanted. My husband and I thought that was a great idea. We thought we'd give it a try with our 7 year old, Faven. We decided to keep their first names and asked her what middle name she would like to have. SIt didn't take long for her to decide that she wanted her middle name to be Beyonce and Diborah's middle name to be Rihanna. Hmmmm.....wander where those names came from!
What do I do now? I'd love to get your input!!