My daughters are 7 and 3 years old. They are typical 7 and 3 year olds. They do not wake up daily and thank me for the new life I've given them in America. They do not shower me with hugs and kisses in gratitude for 'saving' them. They are children. They hurt because they've been abandoned and experienced loss. They wonder if I will leave them, too.
They are children. They test their boundaries, constantly. They have alot of testing to make up for--after all they are 7 and 3 and don't know the rules of this new family. They fight, they scream, they say 'no', they run, they complain, they whine, they pout, they glare.
But, they love and love to be loved! They love hugs. They love kisses. They love to have fun. They love to laugh. They love to play.
In other words, they are children!
It is so rewarding to see the light come on--they understand! It is rewarding when you know that they want to say "no", but instead say, "ok mommy"! It is rewarding to walk in the door and hear "mommy, you home!" It is rewarding to hear them pray at night and thank God for their home and their family.
Would I recommend older children adoption? Would I recommend adopting siblings? YES!!!
A perfect family is not required, believe me, I know. We are not a special, extraordinary family. We are not flawless. We make mistakes. We occasionally lose our tempers. We have been seen carrying a screaming child out of a restaurant or store. Sometimes we're too soft when we need to be firm. We get tired.
We did not adopt because we had lots of extra money or time on our hands. We adopted because we had a family, and they needed one.
Raising these children does not require perfection. It requires commitment, patience, and love. God has given us a responsibility, a gift. We feel very blessed.
These children are a blessing.
16 comments:
Lori!!!!
I know you can't see me, but I am giving you a standing ovation!! Such true, true words. Beautifully shared.
Rebecca
Well said. Thank you for the honesty. You touched on some of the things I am most fearful of... feeling like the babysitter, losing my patience, Little M not loving us.
Hi Lori,
And God chose YOU to be THEIR family!! Thanks for caring! Thanks for sharing!
OH, this post encouraged my heart!!! Thanks for sharing. I LOVE seeing you all together as family! Blessings, Shelly
I love reading your posts! I love your honesty that adoption is not always a bed of roses. Thank you so much for sharing your family's story. It is such a blessing and encouragement for our family and so many others. You are helping prepare our hearts for loving and raising older adopted siblings.
Thank you! Thank you!
What a great and true post! Thanks for checking in on us!
I have a fear of carrying a screaming child out of anywhere. Woah, that will be a new experience for me, one I am NOT looking forward too. But the I'm glad your home, spending time together, loveing eachother, I can't wait for those times!
I loved this post. I am very anxious to bring our twin girls home, but a little scared too. Nice to hear from "normal" families that it is doable, even with all of the expected difficulties. Thanks for commenting on my blog... Ethiopian adoptees, love Boston terriers... you must be good people. ;)
Hooray! such a great post. So full of truth and yep, reality! but also hope. i haven't adopted older kids myself yet, but my sisters were 4.5 and 3 when they came home when I was a teenager. I remember things very well!
you rock for being honest and joyful!
take care...
becca
( : That's all, just ( :
Thanks for commenting at my blog.
You're right we were in Addis the same time. Amazing. Did you spend (U.S.)Christmas there? We did and our hotel (Addis View Hotel) was so sweet. They threw a dinner party for all the guests free of charge. Gotta love that Ethiopian hospitality!
.... I'm going to read around your blog now :-)
Oh how beautiful! I have not even seen your girls until now... how beautiful they are! It sounds as if you are settling in and loving it??? They make me want to adopt again.... if I can talk that husband into it... hmmmm....
Congratulations!
I love this post! I think it's so important for people who adopt to talk about it. I especially love it when people encourage others to consider adopting older children. (I mean really, how could you not love Faven and Diborah!)
What a great post. It's funny that even 9 months later in our adoption, those words still hold true and remain words I desperately needed to hear. The great thing about adopting older children is that eventually - around month 3 - it all starts to sink in and they figure out that the crazy Americans who have adopted them are serious. I remember that month 3 seemed to be the time that discipline techniques, the differences in language the culture shock all started making sense to Samuel and we found ourselves in comfortable territory. Thank you for addressing what a gift adopting older children can be!
This is a great post; don't know how I missed it. Yea for older children! Yea for Faven and Diborah! And Yea for you! Children are children wherever they are or whatever their past circumstances. They need the love of a family and we have the love of a family to offer.
What a great post! What a blessing you are to your family.
What a great post friend! You mirrored my sentiments and heart exactly. Honestly, I am just waiting for the Lord to tell is WHEN to return to Ethiopia again. The best things in life are worth every bit of the work and growing pains. It feels like our girls have been with us forever, and it has only been 6 months! I think that the secret is out....older child adoption (though a lot of work) ROCKS! :-)
Blessings,
Kristy
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