In Sunday School on Sunday, my 3 year old daughters learned that they can take care of God's creation. They brought home a baggie which had a wet paper towel and seeds inside. Emma and Diborah informed me that they were going to grow into flowers!
Today, Emma looked at the seeds and said with dismay, "They will NEVER be flowers!" I said, "Sure they will...you just have to be patient! It won't happen overnight!"
Um.....maybe I should listen to my own advice! I have been expecting the bonding and attachment and love and feelings and obedience and learning to happen 'overnight'! I just need to sit back, provide for them, and let them grow!
Then, Emma said, as she was running for the door, "I need to put them outside, they need the sun!"
I heard, "....they need the Son!!" I need to place my daughters and our relationship in God's hands and quit doing it on my own! We ALL need the Son!

The Sunday School verse was 1 John 4:19 'We love because God loved us first'. Amen!

Spring Break!

We SURVIVED our first long trip as a family of 8!!

Last week was spring break for my professor husband and our children. We were very excited that all of their spring breaks coincided with the date of the Gladney Ethiopian dinner in Fort Worth, TX! We loaded up our six children and took off! Well, actually, we loaded up 4 of our children in our 7 passenger mini van while 2 of our children drove behind. We decided that this was a RIDICULOUS way to travel and decided to break down and do the inevitable--buy an 8 passenger vehicle! We are usually very thrifty people, we don't buy 'toys', so to spend money on a new/used car with the economy the way it is, was just way out of character for us. But, we decided that we needed to accomodate our large family, and possibly a friend or two at times, and just do it! Our car of choice was a Chevy Suburban. We not only got all of the seats that we needed, but also room to pack our stuff. I have to admit, I am really enjoying it!!!

Anyway, we made this purchase in Oklahoma City. My husband's grandma and aunt and cousins live there, so it was the perfect place to stop. This was the first time that Faven and Diborah got to meet their Great grandma and great aunt! They were met with a special welcome cake, a wonderful meal, and a fun walk to Lake Hefner to feed the ducks and geese.

We spent a few nights in OK City, then loaded up our family for our first ride in the same car! During our stay in Fort Worth, the girls discovered that they LOVE to swim! I was afraid of that!! I am worried about what the pool water will do to their hair!! They also spent a lot of time at the McDonalds play place next to our hotel.

The highlight, of course, was going to the Gladney dinner, meeting blogger friends, seeing our caseworker, Mary, again, and seeing our in-country reps, Belay with his family, and Travis and Joanna. These are all amazing people who have had such a huge impact on our lives. It was also exciting to see the families created (and in the process of being created) through adoption from Ethiopia. It was neat to watch Faven warm up to friends she had while living in the Gladney Foster Home in Ethiopia. I think it was so good for her to see Belay (whom she loves) and Ethiopian friends and then leave and go home with her family!

Vacation? Not for me...

We had fun times, we had whiny times, we had laughing times, we had screaming times, we had relaxing times, we had frustrating times. We sang, we danced, we visited, we ate, we slept...but, most importantly, we bonded!!! Our older children bonded together in frustration (:, our younger children bonded, our older children bonded with the younger children. But, the most amazing part for me was the bonding that took place between John and I and Faven and Diborah. I can see the difference now that we are back to our daily routines. They are happier, calmer, and more compliant. I'm not sure what we expected when we adopted, but bonding did not take place immediately. It has taken time, patience, commitment, and, yes, work. Are we there yet? Probably not, but we are closer!!!

Better Days...

The girls had a GREAT day today. Faven got out of school early since our High School girls basketball team made it to State Semi-finals! I took the entire crew to the college that my husband teaches at for LUNCH!! This was crazy, but fun! Of course, I gave them 'the talk' before we went in. It went something like.."This is not a playground, so there will be no running. There will be many of Daddy's students in here, so show them what big girls you are..." Nathan and Derek were adamantly shaking their heads in agreement! They REALLY wanted their sisters to be good!! They were!
Afterwards, we came home and hung a collage of pictures in the girls room. This collage contained pictures of our trip to Ethiopia. Specifically, it had pictures of John, Kayla and I with Faven and Diborah meeting with their birthmom.
You see, I have been reading a book called "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child". I think that many of the points in the book could be controversial, but one thing that I agree with is that we, as adoptive parents need to talk openly about our adopted child/ren's past. This is an extremely important part of their lives!! We cannot forget, erase, or dismiss this!
So, last weekend, when Faven was having a particularly difficult day, I decided to use what I've learned. I asked her, "Do you miss your Ethiopian mommy?" She said, "Yes, why doesn't she come here to see me? I want her to come here!" I know that it is so hard for her, because she loves her new family, but misses her Ethiopian mommy! She wants her to come HERE.
I explained to her that her Ethiopian mommy loves her VERY much and would come if she could, but 'remember that loooooong plane ride?' We are very far away.
Then, we decided to look at pictures. The first pictures that we took of our meeting with their birthmom was of her crying. I explained that she was very sad because she would miss her daughters very much because she loved them. By the end of the meeting, their birthmom was hugging me (Faven's favorite picture) and smiling and laughing. I explained to Faven that her Ethiopian mommy was happy because she liked us and she knew we would love Faven and Diborah and give them a good home. Faven smiled and hugged me! This melted my heart!!!
We made a collage of those pictures and hung them in her room....above her bed. She has never gone to bed so willingly and quietly!!!
So...adoption is not without loss...it is not without pain! But, there can still be happiness!!!
I love my girls!!

Making a Difference in this life...charity:water

We were so touched by the needs in our daughters, Faven and Diborah's, birth country. We have discovered that one way to help the people in this country is to give financially to fund drilling wells that will provide clean drinking water to many, many people. Here is a video of a father and daughter visiting a well that they helped fund.

The Budde Family Well / charity: water / Ethiopia from charity: water on Vimeo.

We, the Simmons family, are pitching in with many other Ethiopian adoptive families who have experienced the same desire to fund one or more wells. But, you do not have to be an adoptive parent or be a member of the blog community--you only have to have a heart for helping people and a desire to give to this cause. In order to join me in this effort, please visit Lori's blog. She is leading us in this effort to make a difference!!!

Dance, braids and dolch words

My last post was a bit of a reality check and maybe not quite so happy. So, I wanted to post some pictures to show that we do have our struggles, but also have many, many happy times.

This is a picture of Diborah, Faven and Emma ready to go to dance class. I'm not sure how much to get the girls involved in right now, because I don't want to overwhelm them or overstimulate them. However, Emma was already enrolled in dance and so Faven and Diborah really wanted to do it too. The dance instructors were very kind to allow the girls to jump in in the middle. They are doing great and are excited about their recital in April. They are especially excited about the beautiful dance dresses that they get to wear!



Since the day we received the girls referral, I have to admit, I was very nervous about how I was going to take care of their hair. I did alot of research on products and hair styles and how to braid with cornrows. I learned all that I could off of the many sites available on the internet. I am excited to say that I have gotten much better at cornrows. This is my favorite style on Faven. She loves the beads and loves to hear them click together when she moves her head. I have to say, she is a very good client, too. I just pop in a movie and go to work!

This next picture is a picture of Faven reading the Dolch words that her teacher gave me. These are words that are often used and easier to read by just memorizing them. There are a lot of these and beginning to teach these to her was a bit overwhelming. Her teacher suggested that I post them in different areas of the house and have her read different lists at various times throughout the way. Faven loves this and doesn't complain when I ask her to read one of the lists.

So, we face the issues as they come. There are so many decisions to be made. How to care for hair, what to involve them in, how to teach them english, how to teach them to read, whether or not to send them to school. I don't believe there is one right answer. We face each situation as it arises and pray for God's blessing on our family.