Older child/sibling adoption

Adopting has definitely been a new adventure for me. A challenging adventure. It's like climbing a mountain. It's hard, it's exhilarating, it's rewarding. Until now, I've felt a bit like a babysitter, a teacher, a drill sargeant. How do I become mom?



My daughters are 7 and 3 years old. They are typical 7 and 3 year olds. They do not wake up daily and thank me for the new life I've given them in America. They do not shower me with hugs and kisses in gratitude for 'saving' them. They are children. They hurt because they've been abandoned and experienced loss. They wonder if I will leave them, too.



They are children. They test their boundaries, constantly. They have alot of testing to make up for--after all they are 7 and 3 and don't know the rules of this new family. They fight, they scream, they say 'no', they run, they complain, they whine, they pout, they glare.


But, they love and love to be loved! They love hugs. They love kisses. They love to have fun. They love to laugh. They love to play.
In other words, they are children!

It is so rewarding to see the light come on--they understand! It is rewarding when you know that they want to say "no", but instead say, "ok mommy"! It is rewarding to walk in the door and hear "mommy, you home!" It is rewarding to hear them pray at night and thank God for their home and their family.

Would I recommend older children adoption? Would I recommend adopting siblings? YES!!!

A perfect family is not required, believe me, I know. We are not a special, extraordinary family. We are not flawless. We make mistakes. We occasionally lose our tempers. We have been seen carrying a screaming child out of a restaurant or store. Sometimes we're too soft when we need to be firm. We get tired.

We did not adopt because we had lots of extra money or time on our hands. We adopted because we had a family, and they needed one.

Raising these children does not require perfection. It requires commitment, patience, and love. God has given us a responsibility, a gift. We feel very blessed.

These children are a blessing.

Pictures

Thought I'd share a few pictures to show what we've been doing....

Here are the 3 amigos/3 musketeers/3 stooges? I can't decide... It's Emma, Katy (my niece), and Diborah. They are 'cheering' at Derek's basketball game!

Emma and Diborah are always ready for a photo op!

Faven, Emma and Diborah wearing their Ethiopian dresses to church for the first time!

I finally got Derek to pose with his sisters for a picture. As you can tell, he is a very serious guy!

One of very few pictures of me with Faven and Diborah. We are in the 'fish house' at the zoo.

Settling In

We've been home as one big happy (most of the time) family for almost 6 weeks. I think we've settled into a routine and found that 'new normal' that I've heard about from other adoptive parents.
Kayla has gone back to living the life of a college student and working alot. Occasionally she'll take time out of her busy schedule to hang out with her little sisters and do girlie things. They love that!
Nathan is a great big brother. He is so good about playing with Faven, Diborah and Emma but gets frustrated at his lack of control when they misbehave. He has really stepped up to the plate and taken on more responsibility since mom and dad are a bit busier. He takes Derek to school, picks him up and drives him to his various activities. That is a huge help!
Derek is 13 and thinks all little girls are a nuisance, especially his 3 sisters! They must stay out of his room and keep the noise down--I say, "Good luck with that!" (o:
Emma loves having playmates! She loves being a mommy to Diborah. She loves Diborah going to preschool with her (Emma was the only girl in her class until Diborah came)! She loves learning new words in Amharic and sometimes uses those in place of the English word. But, there are times when Emma would like to have me, her daddy, her toys, her room all to herself. Sounds normal to me!
Faven is still enjoying school. She says, "Me..teacher..love." I don't blame her! She has the best teacher! She continues to learn more and more English--it is an amazing transformation. She still struggles occasionally with mommy and daddy's authority, but is getting better. She tries to convince us that she is 'the boss', but is slowly learning that she is not. We enrolled her in a dance class which she loves. Tonight we will go watch her perform a dance at our high school's homecoming basketball game with other K-6th graders. She seems to have embraced her new life. She gets excited about looking at pictures from Ethiopia (friends, her birthmom, her caretakers), but doesn't talk much about it on a daily basis. She is a funny girl with a big personality. She brings lots of sunshine and love into our family!
Diborah is doing so much better. She enjoys playing with Emma and going to school and dance class and church. Just in the past couple of days, she has begun to use English words to communicate. I'm still surprised when she says something in English! She is very loving and cuddley. She gives me lots of smiles, hugs and kisses, and I love you's...music to my ears! She likes to have fun and is our happy girl!

It's been fun being a big, crazy family of 8. We feel as though God has truly blessed us.
Last week, John and I left all of our children at home with Kayla to go shopping at our favorite store (haha!), Walmart. Everyone that we saw who knows us said something like....you're alone?...no kids today?...where's everyone else?...aren't you missing a few?
We just smile!

Speaking English

When Faven and Diborah first came home, they didn't speak or understand English very well at all. We were able to communicate by showing and demonstrating. I thought they would be delayed in speaking English because they were able to communicate with each other in Amharic. This wasn't always good. Faven would be chattering away in Amharic and Diborah would begin to cry. I have no idea what Faven was saying but I know it wasn't good. I was ready for them to begin speaking our language!
Although Diborah still struggles alot (she repeats words and phrases that we say, but doesn't really understand), Faven is learning English rather quickly and is getting good at communicating with us.
During the superbowl, we let the 3 little girls watch a movie in another room. It wasn't long before they started having problems.
Faven marched out and said in her broken English and oh-so-cute accent, "Dee-BOR-ah...moo-vee...off!!"
John said, "Diborah turned the movie off? Why?"
Faven replied, flailing her arms, " I don't a know! She's crazeee!!!"

Oh, I love my girls! They make me smile!